Recently, an uncle of mine made me aware of a situation involving the relocation of a school for the blind. The blind children were relocated from their comfortable and safe learning environment surrounded with green grass, trees, and cool breezes.
The seeing impaired little scholars now do their learning in an industrial setting where the breezes are mixed with the scent of homeless people urine and the grass is concrete.

Relax, they’re blind, they won’t know the difference. That’s sound reasoning from state officials that think outside the box. Why would children that can’t see care if the sounds of chirping birds are replaced with the sounds of raw industry. I’ve heard a lot of sirens and car alarms that echo the sounds of children laughing and birds singing.
Relax, so their missing a sense?

Recently I met a handful of interesting  individuals with vary backgrounds and circumstances, but all with one thing in common. They were angry.

I wasn’t at a KKK meeting or anything like that, just a circumstance where I was able to meet with some people that were angry. One young woman left an impression with me and got me thinking, I would be angry too. She was the victim in my opinion. While doing a little shopping at her local WalMart, she and her mother where using the 20 items or less line with their 19 item score. Still under the limit and still following the rules.

This is where her story takes an unfortunate turn, the woman behind the ‘mother/daughter combo’ didn’t feel there was enough time in her day to keep her mouth shut and be patient. So in the spirit of WalMart, my new  friend did what any rational consumer would do, she kick the mouthy bitch.

Now I like to score a good deal on a box of white cheddar Cheeze-It’s just as much as the next guy, but not when I have to kick people for them. Be patient, there’s plenty of deals and check stands for all of us.

We’re magic happens.

Relax, if we can’t be civil at WalMart, then what is the world coming to?

Also, sorry for the delay on the post, won’t happen again.

And the bumper stickers that bother me even more than coexist, are the ones that support your selected political candidate. To be honest, I find most bumper stickers to be incredibly irritating, but I want to meet the person that was on the fence about which city official to elect until they caught a glimpse of the rectangular sticker pasted to the bumper of the 2001 Mercury.  ‘Well, he seems like a safe driver, he’s using his turn signals and obeying traffic laws. Yeah. . . maybe I’ll vote for that guy too, what the hell.’

Bumper stickers do represent one thing in particular, everything that’s wrong with this country today. No one cares who you’re voting for or whether or not you believe in evolution. If it’s not a ‘my kid is in the military sticker’, or Calvin taking a whizz on something, then I don’t want to see it.

I know. Relax B, they’re just bumper stickers.

When you are struggling to find employment, or opportunity, with an established outfit, then it might be time to take matters into your own hands. Sure creating and operating your own business will be stressful and time consuming, but that’s RIJ is here for. Ambition can make you fall on your face, but sitting around will make you fat.

Relax, it’s better to try and do something and end up with nothing.

7:30 am No keys,  RIJ,  we’ll find them.

7:44 am Still no keys, a phone call is made, “Do you have my car keys?”

“No.”

7:53 am A second phone call is made, “Are you sure you don’t have my keys.”

“Yes. I’ll look more when I get to work, check what you were wearing last night.”

7:58 am After frantically digging through piles of laundry, turning over couch cushions, and calling the restaurant from the night before, still no keys. We continue to search.

8: 01 am The phone rings, “Sooooo . . . do you have a spare?”

“What? Do I have a spare? Is that a real question? NO. I don’t have a spare.”

“Well then I’m going to have to drive back, you’re keys are in my car.”

8:14 am Waiting on the side walk by my locked car, hope of making the flight has begun to diminish. I still need to get gas in order to make it   to the airport.

8:22 am The keys are thrown out the passenger side window of a black two door, and hope is renewed, “Thanks.” The Subaru roars to life as if  she already knew of the task at hand.

8:30 am We pull into a Shell station, I have a ten already in my grasp and I yank the lever to pop my gas door open. I get out and unscrew the  gas cap, anything to expedite the fueling process. A trollish woman stares at me from another pump for nearly a minute before decides to shuffle over to see what I want, I still believe there’s hope.

“I’m kinda in a hurry, I’m trying to get my friend to the airport.”

“So? You need directions or something?” She’s wearing a tattered, purple  ribbon that reads in gold, An Award of Excellence!

“No, I just need gas, thanks.” Urgency in my voice and I’m stepping side to side like I have to pee and can’t find a bathroom.

“You know…? You should have got gas yesterday before taking your friend to the airport.”

“Thank you.” Deep breath.

8:41 am The Subaru comes to an abrupt stop outside PDX departures and my friend hustles with a bag in each hand through the revolving doors. With 14 minutes before take off, there was still a chance.

8:57am I receive a text, “I made it! Thanks bros”

If there is a machine in Arizona that can make a thousand mini muffins per minute, that’s 60 thousand mini muffins an hour, then anything is possible.

Relax, it’s an award of excellence.

It’s not that I didn’t have time to write, it’s that the RIJ method is so outstanding that I just wasn’t too worried about it. But then I got to thinking about the awesome power of such an incredible method and how easily said power can begin to take control of reality. All things become obsolete when a stress free lifestyle method allows the societal pressures and expectations to be entirely alleviated. This, in turn, drains any substantial concern from all sincere plight. Life can potentially become so stress free, that we forget the enjoyment that comes with triumph over challenge and engagement in healthy competition.

I’m reminded of yet another analogy question presented by an unknown philosopher of the 20th century.

“When at the bottom of a waterfall with the great force of constant hundreds of thousand of gallons of water pressing you helplessly to the bottom of the river bed, how many times do you kick up off the river bed before you submit to the crushing power of the waterfall and let the waterfall push you down?”

By putting things in perspective we are able to discover new springs of opportunity and positive change. Put things into perspective as a way to muster another kick off bottom of the river bed.

Relax, it’s another analogy post.

Some of the hurdles will be standing, but there are a few that have been knocked down and we have the blood and scars on our shins to remind us of those taller hurdles. But we continue to run on and enjoy our successes and the gratification that comes with creating even more space between us and the fallen hurdles behind us.

Just knowing that another hurdle will grab us by the laces can be overwhelming, but how much fun would a race be without the possibility of getting some blood on the track?

Relax, this analogy for life was pretty bad.

From time to time we all get a little pent up anxiety. This may, or may not have a discernible source, you just feel like you are overwhelmed by everything and you’re lacking any sort of direction. Like you’ve had ten cups of coffee and don’t know where to start on your list. Just tapping your foot, trying to figure out what comes next.

RIJ . . . The Resolution: Brief Introspection

You don’t have to do a full on interpersonal over-haul to combat anxiety, but it can be helpful to stop whatever you think you’re supposed to being doing, take a breath, maybe go pee, and then slowly consider what is the right thing for you to be doing. It could be as simple as brushing your teeth or washing your car, just getting something checked off your list to get you back on track. If this doesn’t work, maybe your anxiety stems from something more substantial and requires bigger moves, you have to start somewhere, take a breath, go pee, and start the introspection.

Relax, caffeine doesn’t help anxiety, but peeing does.

We’ve discussed white rugs, we celebrated DS, talked about membership, someone’s cat died, we took ’5 or maybe 10′, my dog tricked me into punching myself in the face, and we cleared up a few things on the importance of image. All and all, I’d say we’re off to a good start.

We live in a stress filled world and our existence in this world is only a sneeze in the history of time. Our existence is too brief to be spent looking for a tissue to wipe the snot off our hands, just wipe it on your jeans and move on.

It’s easy to look back and talk about what we should have done, but it won’t change what happened. A smart man once told me that if God intended for us to be constantly looking back, then he would have put our eyes on the back of our heads.

If something has happened, then it was clearly inevitable, otherwise it wouldn’t have happened. No reason to stress about what cannot be reversed.

Relax, stress can be avoided with perspective.

Here’s to 5o more!

There are of course responsibilities that should not be neglected. Feed your pets before you eat, put your pants on before your shoes, make time for your buds before you paint.

Memorial Day weekend is here and it’s going to be beautiful. But no matter where you spend the holiday, just make sure you spend it with friends.

I didn’t intend for this post to be about pitching tents, but you really can pitch a tent anywhere and call it camping. Shoot, you could even just go over to your buds’ house and pitch a tent there. Heck, your buds would probably even help you pitch your tent.

All tent pitching aside, the most important thing in life are your friends, no matter where they are.

Relax, camping is fun anywhere there’s friends pitching tents.